It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
