you guys were way drunker than both of me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
