Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
