super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
