hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
