This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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