He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
