What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would fuck him just for his dog
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
