**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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