Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
