it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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