I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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