I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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