Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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