Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone owes me an orgasm
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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