Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
