You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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