im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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