I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
