It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she peed on how many people?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
