she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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