Me too!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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