The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
