totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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