She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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