glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
