we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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