After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just had sex on a roof
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
