I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
