I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
