I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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