i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
