New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
