who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
