one two three fourrrrnication!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
