You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
