Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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