Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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