apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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