what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
