Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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