I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
