The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My feet surprised me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
