So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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