Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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