There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
