HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
