New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
