It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
