So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
