my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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