apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
