just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
