There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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